When I read prayer requests of young Ladies desiring marriage and asking for partners, I try very hard to imagine their state of mind. Perhaps like my husband says, I read too many romance novels. I had this luck too with relationships never having to fight to be loved or relevant in them.
I was young anyways and cupid was probably being kind to me by not letting me get stressed unduly. By my third actual relationship, I was headed for the altar, fresh out of school with little experience as my previous relationships had been ‘ flower girl’ relationships.
Nothing prepared me for those situations where someone you thought would see eye to eye with you on every count suddenly develops very strong opinions differing from yours.
More surprising still is the amount of time, someone you practically stole time to say with wants to spend with ‘ the boys’ and away from you.
Then the kids come and it seems like every other person comes first and you are just there, a utility staff.
Gradually, starry eyed disappeared and reality set in, this is real life, no chance of flipping a few pages and finding your self at the end of the story.
Day after day, year after year I have had to live this married life for 19 years.
Today I get all these congratulatory messages and I stop to think. Far from what they think, I am no heroine.
Of course a thousand times I had felt like walking away but the bible passage ” woe to him that puts his hand to the plough and turns back kept me right there.
Again, I often wondered about the kids and what life would be like for them without a stable home.
Of course Love in marriage seems to be of a different texture than that in a relationship and trust me, the later seems more appealing.
Then the naughty ,troublesome Franca in me has reared its head at least a thousand times and even I know, it must have been one hell of a job for him to live with me for 19 years.
Today however, I write to emphasize that always and forever are such a long time. It feels already like I have been doing this married stuff all my life.
They have been ups and downs but in all its been an experience I couldn’t buy off the shelf if I wanted to.
I think I have earned the right in 19 years to tell younger women to look before they leap and when they do leap to make lemonade out of the lemons marriage will throw at them.
Enjoy your single days while they last for as soon as they are over you will long for them.
For us wives ,please find time to live a little, it will help you endure the strain of and stress of marital life.
As I pour me a glass this evening and chew through the barbequed meat, I will do a mental check of my deposits and withdrawals over the years and try to balance things up in the next decade.
They say it at weddings but we often don’t take it serious, it is really ” for better for worse”.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.